Thriving as a Parent & Triathlete

Andrew Harley: Welcome to the TriDot Podcast. Today we are continuing a series where each week on the show we're discussing how to thrive as a certain type of triathlete. And today we are talking about thriving as a triathlete who happens to also be a parent. There are definitely time pulls and time sucks and time commitments that a parent has that somebody that is not a parent does not have as much of. And I'm excited to hear how we can thrive in our triathlon training and racing, if you have little ones or big ones or any age kid in your life. I've got two coaches with me to discuss this. The first is Coach Katrine Trolle. She's the founder of K-Trolle Coaching, based in Denmark. It's her very first time on the show, but she's a very experienced TriDot coach. Katrine, so excited to have you on the TriDot podcast for the very first time. Welcome.

Katrine Trolle: Thank you very much. Thank you for having me. It's an honor to be here.

Andrew: Also with us is Coach Brady Hoover. He's a triathlon coach and a strength and conditioning specialist from the state of Massachusetts. Coach Brady, good to see you.

Brady Hoover: Hey Andrew, thanks for having me back. Katrine, it's great to see you. I work with ya a couple of times a week, so thrilled to have you on this recording, and I love this topic because it's ever changing.

Andrew: Yeah, I am Andrew the Average Triathlete, voice of the people and captain of the middle of the pack. As always, we'll start off with our warm-up question, settle in for our main set conversation, and then wind things down by asking our coaches an audience question on the cooldown. Lots of good stuff. Let's get to it. In the sport of triathlon, there are rules that we have to follow when we're out on course. Those rules can vary a little bit from race production company to race production company. But what I want to know today from our coaches is, if you could add a rule or change a rule to triathlon racing, what rule would you change? Coach Katrine.

Katrine: Well, if we're talking a lot about the whole family aspect of it, it's interesting — you cannot do an Iron Man on your own, or a 70.3 on your own. You always need the support of your family. So they very much become a part of your project, your Ironman project, whether they want to or not. And I think that it could be great to see all of the race organizers making more room for the families — for the wife, husband and kids, on course, off course, before the race, after the race — so that they get to really get that experience together with their family member. I think that would be cool, to make some kind of rule or some kind of area where it's more about the family.

Andrew: I love this, Katrine. I'm gonna jump in with mine. I usually go last, but I'm gonna jump in with mine because mine is very, very similar. I know Iron Man, for example, is a race production company that does not allow friends, family members, spectators that you're close with to cross the finish line with you. It's an athlete-exclusive area. And some people complain about that, some people like that. I know they're trying to keep the finish line experience clean for every single athlete, and that's why they don't let family members cross together. So I, like you Katrine, would love to see some sort of official fan zone on the race course, whether it was on the bike course or the run course or somewhere in transition, where it would be encouraged for your loved ones to come out and run a kilometer or so, or a half kilometer, or a hundred yards or something with their athlete — hype that area up, put an official race course photographer right there. So you leave the experience with pictures of you and your kids, you and your family, to protect the finish line but still give athletes a chance to be on course with their loved ones for a little bit. Coach Brady, Katrine and I have the same answer. What about you?

Brady: Wow, I love your answer. And I have a visual mind, and I'm thinking — what about a finish area before the finish area? You know how they have that first-timer bell? What about having like a pit stop area that's still on course, but it detours athletes that want that — sky's the limit, right? It doesn't interrupt the flow of anything, it's not getting in anyone's way. You get your photos — maybe it's not a red carpet, but they do a yellow or a blue, I don't know the right color.

Andrew: Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. And the athletes who are racing can just flow on by it.

Brady: I love your guys' ideas. I was thinking outside the box, and this pertains to anything but ITU racing — the drafting. With a caveat. Drafting is legal — drafting being legal only when you have a bike mechanical issue. You break a chain, your chain falls off, it takes a couple of minutes to get it back in. I was racing Louisville back in 2016 and I had a handlebar issue — they got all crooked, some bolt wasn't tightened down all the way, and I had to wait ten minutes for the bike mechanic. Or you get a flat tire. For a period of time, if you have a mechanical issue on the bike, why not make it legal to draft for — I don't know the pre-defined amount of time — but if it took ten minutes, why can't I draft for ten minutes to gain back some of that time so I can get back on with it? So I'd make a modification to a rule rather than completely change it.

Andrew: Well, we're gonna kick this question out to our audience. If you're watching us today and you have a rule to the rule book that you would like to add or change, let us know in the comments. I especially patrol the comment section on our YouTube channel and on Spotify. If you're watching us on those platforms, comment right below and let us know what rule you would add to the triathlon rulebook. On to our main set, where our coaches are going to talk to us about thriving as somebody who is a parent and a triathlete. And the first question I want to ask is just for you personally. Both of you train, both of you raced, both of you are in some phase of your personal triathlon journey. In this rhythm of your swim, bike, and run experience, what does your personal multi-sport training rhythm look like as a parent and somebody who has a job and somebody who coaches other athletes? Brady, what does your current triathlon journey look like?

Brady: So man, do I miss racing long course, like Ironman-distance races. Just do not have the time or the bandwidth to do that kind of volume. So I'm keeping mine to 70.3 or marathon, which is still a big race, right? That's what I can do. I can get the volume in in order to — I like to say I participate in the race. I can't get the volume in to race at my full potential. But I train so that I can participate and I can execute based on where I'm at today, not where I used to be or want to be or know I could be if I just had a little bit more time to get in a few extra workouts. So my day routine looks like — I can squeeze in one workout a day, and that's about it. Trying to fit in strength training — and I know I'm a strength and conditioning coach, but trying to fit in strength training somewhere else two times a week, it's very tight. It's not very consistent as to what days, but I can usually find at least twenty minutes to get through my key session or key exercises — those big three I talked about on a previous podcast — to at least do something. And then in the off season, when I have a little bit more time because the volume's not as high, I can incorporate that a little bit more. So it is ever changing.

Andrew: Yeah, and Brady, just for context for our listeners — as a guy with a job and family yourself, how old are your kids? What season of life are they in? And what does your work time commitment look like alongside your tri training?

Brady: Great questions. So I have two kids, a boy and a girl. I have Declan, he's eight, and I have Zoe, she's six. They're both involved in sports — two different sports — so that pretty much takes up every single evening, getting them there. Oftentimes they intersect each other, or overlap, or are at the same time, so it requires both of us parents to divide and conquer. We don't have family nearby that can help us out, so my wife and I pretty much do everything on our own.

I'm taking Declan to soccer and coaching the team, and then we're going over to swim — we'll run soccer from five to six, and then his swim team is from six-thirty to seven, so he'll have to double up. So it's a lot of running around, ships passing in the night between me and my wife, where we don't have that support of a family member nearby that could jump in. We've got great neighbors, but they're just not on the same teams, playing the same sports — it just hasn't aligned there. So they say it takes a village. I'm still waiting for that village to show up. Does the village just kinda show up, or how do we get this village here?

Andrew: Yeah, so I think some people just have that village, right, just in whatever their life setup is, and some don't. I'm like you — we kind of don't have a lot of help. So it's all on my wife and I, and we'll talk more about that as we get going. Brady, the other thing you said that I wanted to ask about before we hear Katrine answer the same question — you mentioned that currently you're usually getting one workout in per day with your current rhythm, and then you also mentioned you try to get some strength work in twice a week. When you do a strength session, is that your one workout per day? Are you getting one swim, bike, and run in per day, and then when you slip the strength in, it's on top of the swim, bike, and run sessions?

Brady: Great question. I'm getting in one swim, bike, and run per day. So my workout routine — the only time I can, and this is a blessing and a curse, the only time I can get it in for it to happen is at 5:30 in the morning. If I don't get up early enough and do it, it doesn't happen, right? But I wake up naturally at 4 a.m., but I fall asleep — I asked my Whoop the other day how many times I've seen 9 p.m. this year. I've seen it fifteen times this year, and it is August twelfth. So that tells you how late I stay up.

So it's like — it allows me to be a dad, it allows me to be there for my wife and a partner, it allows me to do the errands and the chores and still get in what I can get in. And then it's just finding that twenty minutes where I can squeeze in those three key exercises that I need to do. It's not the strength program that I've written for myself, but I know if I had to do three, it's these three, and I make sure when time is really strapped to get those in. In the off season, I'll have a little bit more time where I play around with my volume settings, and we'll probably get into that a little bit — those little kind of hacks that we might do for ourselves in coaching ourselves or training ourselves. So I'll turn it back over to you, Andrew.

Andrew: Yeah, so I'll turn it to Katrine — same question over to you. Just in this season of your triathlon journey — you coach athletes, which takes time, you have a job, you have kids of your own — what does your life rhythm look like in relation to triathlon training?

Katrine: Actually, I manage so much of my own time, so for me it's not that difficult to find the time in between. I often do a lunch run — I run during lunchtime. I'm a single mom, so I only have the kids half the time. One week I'm really flexible, and one week I'm the one to take them to school and kindergarten, and I'm also the one to pick them up. I obviously get to train a lot more in the week where I don't have the kids. So my days are really not the same every day — it's kind of different what happens from one day to the next. And then I am an instructor in strength training, so that's a perfect way to get my own strength training done at the same time.

Andrew: Yeah. And how old are your kids that you're taking care of?

Katrine: Four and eight.

Andrew: Four and eight, okay. So Brady, you've got six and eight, Katrine four and eight, I'm three and a half and second one's on the way. So I'm just a pinch behind you guys. I'm excited to learn from you two, being just a season ahead of me. But for me it's funny, because when our daughter Ellie was born — long time listeners of the podcast will have heard me say this before — it just really put a lot of throttle on hold, frankly. And that's because my wife and I are in our thirties. We were married nine years before we started our family. So we kinda had a lot of time, just the two of us, to do what we wanted to do, and I had plenty of time to train and go chase goals and see how strong and fast I could get. And when our daughter came, we were just all in on parenting, all in on spending time with her. Everybody with kids that are older says how fast it goes, right? So we just try to lock in on this season and enjoy it, because we know we're gonna blink and she's gonna be a little bit older and not want to play with mom and dad all the time, and want to play with friends instead. So we're just enjoying this season. In this current season of swim, bike and run for me, I'm just trying to keep my body moving and stay active and stay healthy. I'm not training for any particular race or event. So I am swimming, I am biking, I am running, but it's very intermittent. I'm probably doing more running than anything else. But once our kiddos get a little older, I do plan on getting back into triathlon and trying to get fit again. I was signed up for a half Ironman this year — I was gonna do the inaugural 70.3 Ruidoso in New Mexico. It was in July, about a month ago. And right when I was about to really start training for that, we got pregnant with baby number two. And baby number two had an August due date. So the last thing I wanted was to be in Ruidoso, New Mexico, and have something happen that would force us to go to the hospital for a delivery. So I was like, okay, let's just put pause on triathlon for another year or two, and I'll get back to the race course in just a little bit. So that's it for me — honestly it hasn't been a lot of active training and racing, it's been keeping the body moving, and I'll start participating, Brady — I like your word — in races sometime soon. But I'm still neck deep in the sport, still on a mic, talking with coaches every single week about the sport, and still cheering on our TriDot athletes, right, and living vicariously through our listeners and our athletes and what they're doing at the races, and can't wait to get back to it in a big way myself once the kids are just a little bit older. And that's it for me personally. But I wanted to start with that question because I wanted our listeners to have some context, as you guys are giving advice and giving training tips that you give your athletes. Just for the three of us on the microphones today — what does triathlon training look like for us as parents? And of course, both of you work with athletes that are in very different phases of their parenting journey. So you have where you are personally, but you also have what you help your athletes with. When it comes to coaching athletes who are parents — I know you coach athletes of all types — is there anything extra fun or extra special to you about working with this type of athlete? Katrine?

Katrine: Yeah, I'm always curious about their why. Why do they want to participate in an Ironman when they also have this stressful life with job and kids and all of these things? But I very often find that it is important for the athletes — especially the women, they often were in triathlon before they got kids and then they want to continue that journey. For men, it's sometimes the opposite — that they actually start after they got kids, maybe because they still need to feel like themselves and not just be a dad.

And I think it's very interesting to see how you can make it all fit into their lives. Very often you get to talk a little bit about relationships on the call with your athletes, because it's very important that if you have a wife or a husband that are not racing triathlon, that they understand why you need to do it — get them to understand and to be on the same team as you, instead of on the opposite team. So that's one of the things I often talk to my athletes about — keep reminding them of the communication in their relationship, and explain to their wife or husband why it is important for them to race triathlon.

Andrew: Yeah, I know my wife has been obviously very supportive of me doing what I need to do to stay fit, keep the body active — take twenty minutes here, thirty minutes there, even when the kiddos are home — and that goes a long way, right, in doing it well, having a clear mind while I'm doing it, and having a happy household. Coach Brady, I know you work with several athletes who are parents in different phases of their parenting journey. What's extra special about those coaching relationships? Anything?

Brady: You know, what's extra special is that their family gets to be a part of it — their kids get to see mom or dad being dedicated to something and finding a way to make it work. We'll look at their schedule and their commitments, what they do for work, and we'll find that time where we can help them keep on track of their goals. I love working with new parents. I was a very competitive triathlete before we had our first child. Even with our first child, things didn't really get — everything was manageable — until we had Zoe, and then Zoe turned about eighteen months, then that's when things got hectic, and Declan got into soccer, and that's when everything was manageable when they were at home and didn't have these extra activities and they were at daycare with mom. But these things change over time, and life gets busier, and their schedules get busier. I love goal setting with new parents. Some of the ones I'm working with now, I got to be with them prior to them being a parent and after, and taking them through that first year where they could still be highly competitive and be where they want. And then teaching them — sometimes we have to let things go. We have our A goal, but reality happens, life stress gets high. You don't absorb the training the same way because you're not sleeping or recovering enough and you're just going 110 miles per hour all the time. So it's really setting those expectations — hey, this is natural, don't get so hard on yourself, you're a parent, you're a new dad, you're a new mom, you have to let some of that go. Just be happy that you're still getting to do the sport that you love to do — it just looks different right now. And I keep reminding them, and I tell myself this is my motto — the things I'm doing now in my training will set me up for even more greater success. Maybe when I'm fifty and they're at that teenage year where they got a car and they're driving around, the sport's not going anywhere. I can become highly competitive once again when I have more time. But for me, I don't want to miss that time on the weekends. I work so much during the week that I don't want to be absent to my training on the weekends — I want to be a dad. I don't get this time back with my children. These years, I don't get that back, and I'm not willing to let it go. And I like talking to parents about that — what is your why of doing this marathon, this Ironman? And let's goal set. Could I do an Ironman right now? Yeah, I could train for an Ironman. Could I race the Ironman? No. So I'm not gonna put my family through all of that — all that training to go and participate in an Ironman event and travel and ship the bike and bring the whole family, because I've done it. Athletes that are doing their first, and their parents — yes, let's do it, the family's behind them, everything. But my wife would kind of get a little bit on her bad side if I wanted to go for that Ironman, 'cause she'd say, why? You've already done two, can't you wait? So every relationship, every family is gonna be different, and I like problem solving and fitting that through, and then looking at their schedule when they're really hectic. It's like, yeah, we might have nine workouts this week — here are your key sessions, I do not want you to miss these four, these five workouts. Let's prioritize them. Let's not stack them all in a row — maybe put two together, Monday, Tuesday, and then Wednesday an easy day, or okay, that's when you're gonna miss a workout, and let's get in our long stuff, and kind of working backwards from there. And then anything else that happens after that is a bonus. When things get crazy, it's just problem solving, and that minimum effective dose, right? We would all love to do a little bit more, but finding that happy medium of — you're involved in the sport, you're doing what you love, and you're racing at your current potential, not where you want to be, not where you were, but where you are today.

Andrew: Yeah, and I wanna be very clear — I've gotten to meet a ton of TriDot athletes just going to events, going to races, hosting the podcast, and there are athletes that are crushing it, that are racing, that are competitive in their age group, that are elite in their field, that are parents with kids of all ages, right? So they find ways to train and not have a hit to family time, or as much of a hit to family time. And then there's some parents like me and Brady who are saying, yeah, I'm not gonna miss a second with my kid to go for a long bike, because that's just the way I feel in this season. Neither is right or wrong, right — it's just for you and your family, and between you and your partner, you and your kids, you and your job — how much time can you dedicate to each area of your life, and figuring out what's the right mix for you. So I want to say up front — you're gonna hear the three of us talk about what works for us, but so long as it's working for your support system, great. Chase dreams, chase PRs, chase whatever. For me in this season, triathlon training is taking a huge backseat to family. But that's just where I'm at. Nothing wrong with the other side of the coin.

Katrine: No, I think you're right on that, Andrew. And I think it's such an emotional thing that happens when you become a parent, and it's so different how we react. Because I was racing pretty competitive up until six months before I got pregnant with my first son. Everything was like my ducks were in a row — I did my triathlon, I went to Hawaii twice, I did all the things that I had ever dreamed about for myself in racing. So when I got pregnant, I was like, okay, fine, that's a chapter that I'm okay to close for now, and I'll be a mom. And that was a feeling that I had. And I know a lot of people, they want to still do it, they are so driven by still racing, and I think that's great — then you should pursue it, you should not do it because some norm says that you should now be a parent and only focus on that. If you want to, or are driven still, then that's what you gotta do. It's just really important that you do what feels right for you and not what the norm says, or what your friends say, but what you feel is the right thing for you to do once you become a parent. And what's right for Brady is not necessarily right for me, and that's fine, and that's okay. We just need to listen to what it is that feels right for us.

Andrew: Yeah, totally agree. Love that, Katrine. So with that established, I want to get into — obviously everybody's situation looks different, right? Some people have more help, some people have less help, some people have a full-time job, some people have a part-time job, some people have older kids, some people have smaller kids, some people have all of the above when it comes to kids. So every training situation can be a little different, and we certainly can't speak specifically to everything.

But just in general, when you are working with your athletes who are parents, what are the common problems you're helping them troubleshoot? What are the common barriers to consistent training you're helping them remove, to help them thrive in their day-to-day swim, bike, and run training? Coach Katrine.

Katrine: I think that it's very much helping them prioritize. So if you're going to do a training, and let's just say your kid is sick, and you feel like you should be at home with your kid, but you've chosen to do your training — in that circumstance, you should prioritize your kid, and then do your training once you feel good about going for your training. So I almost want to say don't go training angry, or feeling bad, feeling guilty — you only go train if there is the time for it. You can say that family obviously comes first. So if there is something going on in your family, that should be your first priority, and then Brady and I as coaches need to figure out how do we work around this within your training. I think it's important for parents to know that, because you train for an Ironman, that does not become your first priority. Family will always come first, and we will work around how to make everything fit into your everyday life. Does that answer your question?

Andrew: Yeah, really great. Brady, same question over to you. What are the common barriers you help athletes remove?

Brady: A hundred percent, second what Katrine said. It's juggling commitments, and this changes when the kids go back to school, it changes when they're on break, it changes when they go to spring and sports schedules change, it changes in the summer — like I'm dealing with camp in the summer, Declan's got a longer day, Zoe's got a shorter day, they've got pickup and drop off at similar times, we're going every which way. So it's understanding that parent that I'm coaching, understanding their schedule, where it is currently, right, and setting up their training schedule — how they're gonna be able to hit it 80 to 90% of the time. We'll set the frequency of swim, bike, and run workouts around that. And then each week when we connect, we're talking priorities. What does your schedule look like? Where can we fit in our swim, bike, and run workout? Where can we fit in some stretching and foam rolling? And I'll share a tidbit on what I do there too, because I get that in every day as well, and how I carve that out. It's working with their schedule and their commitments. And sometimes I tell my athletes, you might have a ton of stress going on, and you look at the workout and you're — yeah, I'm not doing these intervals, go for the duration, go zone two, that's what I'm doing. So that's why I say I'm participating — the workouts are there, I'm hitting them all, but sometimes they're all zone. Some weeks, out of six quality sessions, I'm only hitting two quality — I've gotten in the duration, I just skipped all the intervals because my body is still recovering, because I'm not sleeping as well, or I'm getting interrupted sleep, I'm stressed out, and I just can't do those intervals. So it's working with the parent to keep them on track, especially those competitive parents that want to qualify for Boston, want a potential world slot, they're on the cusp, they have that potential. It's just keeping them on track and having that open dialogue. To this — their goal is they got two kids and they want to qualify for worlds, they're very, very close. It's getting in there and changing their schedule constantly to keep them on track. And sometimes, outside of our weekly call, it's sending text messages: hey, I went in there and I moved this — if that doesn't work for you, let me know. If it's a tough week and you go all zone two, I'll see that, and I'm gonna make some changes to next week. And then when I'm getting in there, I'm making notes — hey, I changed this, I updated it because of XYZ, if you have any of these — you know, because I might increase the intensity of that workout to make up for what they missed. Let me know if you have any of these subtle whispers, as Matt Summers calls it. Whispers — I'm looking for whispers, if the body whispers to you. I'm gonna pull back — maybe we're attacking the bike right now, so maybe I'm gonna pull back a little bit from the run and we're gonna maintain it rather than build it. So it's a lot of customization around that athlete's life, with what's going on in their day to day. And that's where a lot of parent athletes come to me for — how do I manage all this? How do I stay on track?

Andrew: Yeah, no, really great. And depending on what season of life an athlete's kids are in, right, there can be all sorts of different time commitments for a parent — school things, extracurriculars after school, homework, play dates, and good old fashioned trying to hang out with your kids and your family. What advice do you have, or what hacks do you have, for staying consistent in our training, getting training sessions in alongside all these parental time commitments? You both said this is kind of one of the common things you help athletes troubleshoot. What are your hacks? Coach Katrine.

Katrine: Put it into a structure and put it into a system. I know Brady, you say that now you have camp and everything is kind of turned around, but normally there is a common structure to an athlete's day. For instance, I know a couple where she has the morning, they both train Ironman — she has the morning, and he has the afternoons. So she wakes up at five every day and does her training before going to work. So putting it into that structure — he knows at home that he has the mornings with their three kids, and he gets to train in the afternoon, because then she will always pick up the kids.

So get it into a structure that works in your everyday family life, where it also makes you feel okay about it — not feeling the guilt, or that you should be doing something else — but have a clear structure in your everyday life, so it doesn't become a problem or something you constantly feel guilty about. Like Brady, also wake up early, do your trainings there, but have a clear schedule of when you have the time to do it. And then maybe have a family day, either Saturday or Sunday, where you maybe only do very little training and then have the rest of the day be called family day, where you can really spend quality time with your family. So never put two trainings in on both Saturday and Sunday — maybe just have a run on Sunday, do it early morning, and then you have the rest of the day, and call it family day.

Andrew: Yeah, I love that. Coach Brady, what are your hacks that you give your athletes for getting the training in?

Brady: That's great advice. Sometimes it's fitting — what days make sense for your long bike and long ride? Exactly like what Katrine said — we have one long session on the weekend. If we're doing a half Ironman, our long run is gonna get up to two hours, two hours and five minutes. Can we find some time midweek — Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday — where we can fit that in, and then we can give them a zone two run on the weekend that's forty minutes. So it's navigating that. Another hack — I use this myself — I'm up early, I'm like a lion, I wake up and I'm ready to go. My wife, I call her — if we're doing chronotypes, animal types — she's like the bear. She wakes up pretty early, but it takes her a little while to get going. So I've got my workout done, she's just waking up, takes a little while to get going, so I'm making the food, I'm getting the family breakfast and everything. And then she's starting her workout a little later, like seven a.m., and I'm getting the kids ready for school or for camp. Because what I tell athletes is, everybody deserves one hour in a day to do something for themselves — whether it's sitting and watching TV, sitting and reading a book. For us tri athletes, I would much rather work out — it could be easy, I would much rather move my body. That is gonna do more good for me and my soul, and how I parent, than taking time out and reading a book or watching TV. Other folks — that's what they would rather do, where they'd like to go knit for an hour. Everybody deserves that one hour. How can we find that? How can we get the other parent, or some help out there, so that we can all get away for at least one hour? And when we're doing long course, it's a little tougher than that, but it's navigating those changes.

Andrew: Yeah, I like that, Brady. And for me, just learning myself what works for me and my family in our rhythm — I look for, and you're saying one hour, so I'll say one hour, but for me it's usually more like 30, 45 minutes — when I'm looking for a pocket of time in the day to move my body, to do that as something for myself, I'm trying to identify, okay, it doesn't make sense for me to do that at 10 a.m. on a Saturday, which for a toddler is prime playtime. But if I go for a one-hour run on a Saturday morning at seven or eight, maybe the only family event I'll miss for the day is our kid waking up and the start of breakfast. So I'm missing a little time to get that one hour in for myself, but I'm not missing prime time, you know what I mean? I kind of apply the same thing in the work week. My wife has to go into the office Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. She's home Thursday, Friday. So Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, I'm daycare parent — I get the kid up on my own, I get our kid to daycare on their own, I get the kid home from daycare on their own. Well, Thursday, Friday, my wife's home and she wants to do that because she missed out on that Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. So if I get a text and someone wants to play tennis on a Thursday morning, okay, yeah, I can go play tennis on Thursday morning because Morgan wants to handle daycare drop-off. And all I'm missing is breakfast and daycare drop-off. So I look for where can I be active in my week at a time where it's not going to be a huge hit to prime family time, right — and that's what's worked for me in this rhythm. I miss 30 minutes here, 30 minutes there, but I'm not missing a half day or an hour or two hours of family playtime, family hangout time, 'cause I'm finding little pockets where it works. What do you — go ahead, please do.

Katrine: I understand what you're saying, if I can break in, Andrew, but just remember that it's not about the time that you miss, but it's about the time that you actually spend with your children. There is no time missed — you know, because I can say this because I only have my kids half the time. So someone might ask me, well, do you not feel like you're missing half their life? And I'm like, no, that's not how I feel. Because it's just important for me to spend the time that I have with them as quality time. So I don't really think too much about it when they're not with me. I just make sure I don't think about it as time missed — I just make sure that the time that I have with them is really valuable and is quality time. Instead of thinking, I'm missing this, I'm missing this — think about all the things that you get, and be there and be with the kid and do the fun things with the kid, and make sure that you're present. I think that's the right word in English — make sure you're present when you're actually there. Because we're so busy being parents, but we are also still Katrine, Brady and Andrew, and we need to take care of Katrine, Andrew and Brady. So just have that in mind — that you're missing things, but you're having so many other things, and then you're taking care of Andrew, and that's important for you to be the best version as a parent as well.

Andrew: Yeah, totally agree. My wife and I say all the time, right — we drop our kid off, we have roughly one hour with her in the morning before she's at daycare, and then when we pick her up from daycare, we have four or five hours before she has to go to bed. So on a normal Monday through Friday, as a parent, you got four to five hours with your kid, and that doesn't sound like a lot on a 24-hour day. So those hours, we're trying to be all in and present. And if a workout carries thirty minutes into that time, or thirty minutes out of that time, okay, that's all right. But really, that perspective, Katrine, on really focusing on when you have them, be there, be present — but also take care of yourself, really, really good. Brady, you look like you were gonna hop in with something there too.

Brady: Yeah, I just thought of it — one of my clients, he has like a dad's night, and his wife has a mom's night. I know other kinds of people do this — Thursday night is his night, guy's night, and he goes to run club. And on Tuesday night she goes to book club, and that's their evening. They don't want to give up that weekend time, 'cause they're both working. So for him, when he's training for a long course race, that's when one of those longer sessions is done, right — he forgets about run club and does the longer session. So other parents are making it work that way. I just wanted to throw that tidbit in there.

Andrew: Yeah, another really clever idea. And again, all good examples of what works for you in your support system, right? There's no one right or wrong way to build your routine — like what gets you the proper time with your kids, but also gets you the proper time to be yourself. And I like that idea, Brady, I haven't heard that one before. The other one I've heard that I don't think any of us have said — I know a lot of parents will, and this doesn't quite apply to me yet, but probably applies to you guys — when you're taking your kids to their extracurriculars, that could be a time you stack a workout in of some kind. Brady, I'll use you as an example — you mentioned you coach your son's soccer team. If you didn't, right, if you were just a soccer dad dropping off — well, soccer practice is gonna be forty-five to sixty minutes at the park, you're already at the park, your kid's being engaged in a soccer practice — you could do some strength and stretch work on the grass nearby, or you could go for a run in that time.

Our three-and-a-half-year-old daughter just started dance. So we're taking her to a dance studio across the road, and she's doing a 60-minute dance thing once a week. We were sitting there last night, just sitting in the waiting room, my wife and I, and in my head I'm like — it's a hundred degrees outside right now, literally, but if it wasn't, I could go for a run right now, and I'm not missing anything, because she's in this dance class that I'm literally not involved in. So I know a lot of parents stack it like that when they are taking their kids to their extracurriculars. It might not always work, but are there any things in your kids' rhythm where you can sneak a workout in while your kids are busy doing something else, while you're nearby?

Brady: Yeah. My parents will drop off at sports and then go home and then come back. I've done — when I wasn't coaching my son's soccer team, I've dropped him off and gone for a run and finished when — there — I do the same thing with oil changes. It's gonna be thirty minutes, I'll see you in an hour.

Andrew: Look at that. The next thing I want to ask about — I've seen just on social media, TriDot athletes that I'm friends with, that I follow, doing all sorts of funny things to occupy their kids while they get a workout in, right? Because there are times, like if you are a parent who is going for that Ironman or going for a PR, and you decide, okay, today I'm gonna take an hour or two and do a training session, even though my kiddos are in the house and need some attention — what are some hacks you have, or some tips you give your parent athletes, for doing a training session while the kids are in the house and trying to get the most out of it? Coach Katrine.

Katrine: I actually might do this for myself as well — I have a baby jogger for my four-year-old. The last time we went out, she was like, mom, I think I'm getting too big for this. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no. And then my son is on his mountain bike, and then we actually can go and do a run together, all three of us. And that's, I feel like, really quality time with my kids. My daughter absolutely loves it — like she says she's getting too big for it, but she's going to be devastated when she actually is too big for the baby jogger, because she loves sitting in it, and it's like she's meditating when she's in the baby jogger, and then she looks at birds and comments a bit about the nature, but she really just is in such a good state when she's in the baby jogger. And my son really loves to ride his bike. So I think that's one thing I would recommend, if it's possible for parents to include their kids, rather than putting them on the TV or the iPad and then sitting on the home trainer, because that's not very including the kids.

Obviously if all the kids are allowed to watch TV and iPad and so on — if it's a time where they anyway want to sit with their iPad, there's no need for you to not be able to sit on the home trainer meanwhile and get a workout in. So that's definitely something — if you have smaller children, use their naps to go and do a home training session, or a treadmill session, or whatever you've got in your home. Strength training can almost always be done at home. So if you have that time where they nap, or where they have a rest with their iPads, always use that time to get a workout in, if you don't have the option to go outside.

Andrew: Yeah, love that suggestion. Where I'm at, with a three-and-a-half-year-old, that's a huge block of time for me. Our three-and-a-half-year-old is just now starting to fight naps, so that's not good. My wife and I are not ready to let go of nap time, because it's a ninety-minute to two-hour chunk of the middle of the day where we get to do something for ourselves, or something around the house, or recalibrate, reset for the afternoon. But yeah, I'll go in our workout room at home and hop on the treadmill or the spin bike, or meet up with someone and play tennis in the middle of the day, sometimes during nap time, and I'm not missing anything because the kiddo's asleep. So I really like that suggestion for those with littles. Brady, anything additional you give your athletes for how to work out with the kids right there next to you?

Brady: Yeah, when my kids were little, I bought a treadmill — I had a bike trainer too — but the treadmill allowed me to train for marathons. And I was up early, so it's figuring out those moving parts. Okay, I can start on the treadmill, the kids are gonna wake up at say seven — well, they were waking up earlier than that, they were waking up at six, six-thirty. Great, I hear them get up, they know to come find me, I pause the treadmill, I get them food, I get them situated, maybe they want an art and craft, a Lego — they're starting to build Legos — maybe they need a little TV time as they wake up in the morning. That's usually enough time for me to finish up. Marathon training, not so much. Then I'm getting them content, and then when I hear the wife wake up, great, shut the treadmill off, I'm running out the door to finish up the other thing. Another hack — long runs, if I'm peaking for a marathon, and I've got a three-hour long run, and I know it's gonna cut into some of that family time — great, I'm gonna do some second-half intervals a little earlier in my session, and then I'm gonna come back when I have about thirty, forty minutes left, and grab the kids. Hey, let's get on the bike, I'm just going zone two pace. It ends up being like a fartlek of sorts, when I get them both on bicycles and we go for a bike for my remaining forty minutes. Zoe's got my electrolytes, Declan's got my water, they've got my gels — I make them a part of it. I'm helping dad. Dad, do you need a gel? No, I just took one five minutes ago. We're going up a hill — great, I get to push them both up the hill. Hold on, Declan, you wait at the top of the hill, I gotta go back down for your sister, right? So I'm getting in all kinds of stuff — fartlek’s, hill repeats. So yeah, it can drive that NTS up a little bit, but hey, if you can make them a part of it, they love it. They love being there and doing that.

Andrew: And can we say too — because my wife and I have talked about this, especially now that our daughter is showing some more personality and having more sustaining conversations with us, and especially where your kids are, a little bit ahead of where mine — it's a good thing for them to see their parents have an interest, have a hobby, be active, have goals and chase those goals, and work hard to fulfill those goals, to understand — dad's got a 10K coming up, or a sprint triathlon coming up, look at what he's doing to be ready for that. That's a good thing, right, just as long as you're not abusing family time, to set a good example. But just as long as there's pockets of them waking up and knowing dad's on the treadmill because he's got an interest and is staying active — I think it's a good thing for them to see that, and will hopefully lend to them understanding they can work hard for things as they get a little bit older. So, wanted to mention that, Brady.

Brady Hover: Yeah, it teaches them discipline. My son's starting to ask — well, he did a project on Pelé — how did Pelé get so good at soccer? I say, well, how do you — you always ask when I did a race, did you win, right, or how did you do? It's like, well, I practice every day so that we can do this, or Pelé practiced every day so he could be at that level. That's the commitment and the dedication it takes when you really truly want something, and it's good for them to see that. And then they get to be there, maybe sometimes on race day, to see how it all comes together and celebrate with you. And they love being a part of that too — high-fiving you out on the run course or whatever it may be — that gets them excited.

Andrew: I think of — another shoutout to TriDot Coach Jeff Raines, because he's got three kids between him and his wife Sarah, and he and Sarah both train and race themselves. Something he shared on the podcast before is that he and Sarah will take turns on who's in an A-race training cycle. So they might both sign up for the same race — they'll both sign up for, say, 70.3 Galveston, Texas, and start training for it. And they'll hop on the bike trainers on a Saturday morning and be spinning side by side, and if the kids come in and need something, they'll take turns based on who this race is more important to. If it's an A race for Sarah and a C race for Jeff, if the kids need something during that training session, Sarah stays on the trainer and Jeff gets off to help the kids for that whole training cycle. And then after that training block, they'll sign up for another race, and they'll change — okay, this is an A race for Jeff and a C race for Sarah, and Jeff gets priority, and Sarah is the one who gets off.

I thought that was really interesting, how that applies to my household where my wife is not a triathlete and I am — if there's an evening where I'm gonna leave the house to go run with somebody, and my wife's gonna solo parent for an hour to get our kid to bed, I'm returning that same favor a few nights later while she goes to a friend's house — she and her girlfriends are in the mahjong craze, mahjong is sweeping the nation apparently, and she likes playing mahjong with her girlfriends. So okay, well, tonight I'm gonna be solo for an hour or so while you go to a friend's house and do that. So as a triathlete, you know you're gonna tap your partner or your family support on the shoulder from time to time asking for support for you to do triathlon — make sure you're returning that favor occasionally for your loved ones as well. Something I have never faced as a parent is a triathlon race day — I have not raced since our daughter's been born. I almost did this year and would have encountered that. But now I'm imagining, if I got to a race weekend — race weekend for me previously was just all about me, making sure I was set up for success. But when you have kids and you go into a race weekend, you still gotta take care of your kids through race weekend. What changes for a triathlete when they're a parent on race weekend, and how can we have a successful race weekend while also taking care of our kids? Katrine.

Katrine: I think it's all about planning, to be honest. There's so many things — it's all about planning with kids. So it's all about making sure that they know where they're supposed to be, they know where the good kid spots are, so that if you bring your wife and your kid, you have planned in advance where the good places for the kid to be before the race are. Obviously sign them up for Iron Kids so they'll also feel like a part of it. I used to work for Ironman for four years, so I brought my kids to a race up in Sweden, which is a four-hour drive from where we live, and I had them participate in Iron Kids, and that really made their weekend — they felt like a part of it. So I think it's very much about planning, making sure there are things for the kids to do that they feel included, but also make sure that your wife or husband understands that when race day comes, it is about you and your day, and they need to take care of the children and make sure they don't interrupt or distract you on that race day. But I think planning is key — making sure they have something that's fun for them as well, but remember that race day is about you.

Andrew: Coach Brady.

Brady: That is a great question. I got to do this recently for the New York City Marathon, where we traveled to New York. Usually I just do local races — if I do Maine 70.3, which I do every year, I just go up Saturday morning, check my bike, do the race, drive home that afternoon. But I would love to bring the kids — it's just a lot for them if I was traveling somewhere. How I would do it, and this is what we did in New York, is we got out there a couple of days ahead of time, before the race, before all the festivities went down, and wanted to make them a part of it. So we went to the Museum of Illusions. I found the Nintendo store — my son wanted to go to a Pokémon store, so we went to the Nintendo store, which had all this Pokémon stuff. The American Girl Doll store is in New York City, so I made sure we went there. We got to do some exciting things that catered to them a few days ahead of time — we took them to some fun restaurants that are kid friendly, we went to the M&M's store in Times Square, and we did a lot of that stuff. And then, on Saturday before the race, I kinda overdid it — I was trying to wind down early, but we were in New York and the kids wanted to go, go, go. I could have said, Grace, just do this with the kids and I'll go back to the hotel, but I said, my goal for New York is to just finish. I'm okay with it not being at my best, top shape — I'm tapered, I'm fresh — I could have put that on, but I chose to stay with the kids and be on my feet longer than I wanted to. And then afterwards — I did the marathon, and having them be a part of it — I mapped out, okay, you guys are staying where we were staying in, I forget the part of New York, not too far from Central Park where it finishes. And I said, it's a three-quarter-mile walk over to mile sixteen, you'll see me come off the bridge. And then if you walk three-quarters of a mile back and two blocks up, you're gonna be at Central Park, where I'm gonna pass at mile twenty, twenty-five — I have a half mile to go at that point. So mapping that out so they could be a part of it. They didn't have to wake up super early — I booked accommodations in a specific spot for that very reason. The race started at, I think, 7 or 8 a.m. — I kind of mapped backwards and asked ChatGPT, if I'm running this pace, what time will I pass mile sixteen if I start at 8:03 a.m.? So my family knew exactly where I was going to be. They also get the split updates — okay, dad's running ten seconds faster per mile than he said, so he's gonna be here a little earlier — but they had a time frame as to when I was gonna be at that particular spot, to give them plenty of wiggle room. And then my wife also knows it can be delayed, so she built in that wiggle room so they could be in those two spots to cheer. So it's doing all of that extra thinking so it makes it easy for the wife, 'cause she's tagging along and she's gonna have to manage the kids. So the more legwork and preparation I can do ahead of time, the easier it is for her job, so that I can go out there and have a good race.

Andrew: Yeah, and just a great example of what Katrine said, right — good planning. You planned, and with that plan in place, there was no reason your family couldn't have a great day while you had a great day doing your race. We've got a few questions left in the main set. I'm looking at the clock, and I'm gonna ask one of them and then we'll move on to our cooldown question and call it a day. The other one I wanted to make sure we talked about is strength and conditioning, functional movement, stretching. There's a number of things that as triathletes we know we've got to do to take care of our bodies to support the swim, bike, and run. And I find, for me, as a parent, when I have that pocket of time where — my gosh, there's a great 45 minutes for me to do something — the last thing I want to do is strength and stretching. I wanna go for a run, I wanna hop on the spin bike. I don't wanna do that with those precious 45 minutes. But because of that, my body has never been more stiff and more creaky than it is today while I'm having this conversation with you both. And I know a lot of parents probably share that sentiment. So for your triathletes who are parents, who do have extra time commitments, it might be a little harder — it's hard enough just to get the swim, bike, and run sessions in. What are your tips and tricks? Both of you have a strength background — how do you encourage your athletes to work that into their routine, because it is so necessary? Coach Brady.

Brady: Okay, this is a great question, and it changes throughout the ever-moving things. When my kids go back to school — my wife's a teacher, so she has to be in school early — so I get them on the school bus. I still do my workout super early in the morning, and then how I fit in my strength and mobility, when they're at school, is the bus picks them up at 7:50, I don't start doing my work until 8:30 a.m. So I have forty minutes right there, and every other day I can do strength one day and stretching and mobility the next. That is sacred time from the minute the school bus gets them. Prior to that, it was more of a challenge, but there would be times when, hey, they're sitting down having a snack and they just got home from school and want to unwind, they need thirty minutes of TV time, and I can squeeze it in then. So it's finding those things within the routine, right — they're not going to be moving and needing mom and dad all the time if they're in daycare all day. They come home, they've been playing, they're tired, and they just need some time with a book, need some time to color, need some time to watch TV — I could stretch and strength train because I've acquired equipment over time to do that here at home, so I don't have to leave the house. Where I have my gym membership, within the membership is free — free babysitting, if you will — for up to two hours for one child. If I bring the second child, it's five dollars. So gyms do have that option as well, and they have daycare hours, so it's using that, and they always love going there and playing with new toys and meeting other kids, like that adventure.

Andrew: Yeah, no, very, very good. My neighbor has a son that is the same age as my daughter — they literally had their son a month before we had our daughter, so it's kind of cool with the kids growing up next to each other. My neighbor goes to the gym all the time and takes his son, and sometimes they'll get in the pool together, and his son will splash around in the pool while he clocks some laps and keeps an eye on him, obviously. They have good quality time in the pool playing together before and after. And then sometimes he'll drop him off in the kids' center and let him just play while he gets a workout in, but the son feels like, I'm going to the gym with dad — this is cool, this is an event, right, whether he's gonna be there with him the whole time or not. Katrine, same question to you — what advice do you have for our parents on getting that strength work, that stretch work, that body maintenance work in?

Katrine: Mostly the same as Brady — just make sure you have the equipment at home. But what I really often recommend to my athletes — and any athletes, no matter if they're parents or not, I think it all goes for them — find some kind of class, maybe that you can join, where you know you have to meet up Monday at 2 p.m., or Wednesday at 3 p.m., or in the morning early — find some time that fits, because they always ask me, do I need to do Pilates, do I need to do what kind of training, strength training wise? And I want to say, as long as you do something — find something that works for you, time-wise, body-wise, whatever works for you — just do something, and find that time during the week where it fits into your schedule.

Andrew: Our last question for today — this is the cooldown question. It comes from an athlete in the audience. This one comes from Sandy from El Paso, Texas — a good minute south of me here in the state of Texas. She says: "I know some runners and triathletes like to listen to music during workouts and some don't. I've always viewed it as a personal preference, but I was wondering the other day, is there any benefit either way? Are there certain workouts where it might be good to have the distraction, or others where it would be better to be dialed in without it?" Coach Katrine, what do you think here?

Katrine: Whatever works for you, to be honest. People say, well, I can't race with music, but it doesn't matter, because there's such a great atmosphere when you're racing. There's not necessarily the same atmosphere when you go into the woods and there are no people there — it's not the same. You can go for a race even though you've trained with music. So I think that if it works for you, and if it makes you go faster — I always hear slow music when I need to do my zone two, because then I slow down. And then I know what kind of upbeat music I want when I have to do my intervals. Figure out what works for you, but I wouldn't say no, don't do music because you can't do music on race day. If it makes the workout done, then definitely do it.

Andrew: Yeah. And for me personally, I've gone back and forth season to season, just a personal preference. But I think, in general, where I like having it is if it's a slower zone two day, just because those sessions can be a little duller without the music. If I've got intervals in my workout, run or bike, I don't really need the distraction of music — there's enough going on already with me focused on my effort, my heart rate, staying on pace, so I don't use it as much in those sessions. If I'm running trails, I don't need it — the trail is enough to keep my mind occupied. So I take — 'cause it's an extra step to go out the door and sync the headphones to the watch and have the music ready to play — I'll take that extra step if it's a zone two day for forty minutes, but if I've got intervals, I don't worry about it. Coach Brady, what do you think here — is it helpful, hurtful, none of the above?

Brady: None of the above. I totally agree with Katrine. I've got a couple different playlists loaded on my watch. If I get a zone two day, it's country — Luke Combs, "Fast Car" — just nice and keep me slow. If I got fast intervals, zone five intervals, and I'm headed to the track, I've got Metallica's "Enter Sandman" playing, and maybe during my rest period I'm playing that so I get pumped up, and I turn the music up during my rest to get pumped up for the next set of intervals. But to tell you the truth, the playlist when I'm doing an interval workout — the playlist could keep playing, I couldn't tell you probably what songs I just listened to, because I'm so focused on the workout that the music is just background noise. It's nice to have — when I'm on those slower periods I hear it, when I'm on the fast period, maybe it helps me with my cadence, in the 180 steps per minute, or beats per minute.

Andrew: There's playlists, like on Spotify, that people have built for certain run cadences. Good point.

Brady: Cadences, yep. So it's helpful there if you're working on cadence and find that perfect playlist — type in 170 beats per minute, 190, 180 — there's gonna be songs that help you match that. I could also go out for a three-hour long run on the road and just zone out and have no music, and it's not gonna make an impact. But yeah, do what works for you. I like to have it in the background, but I couldn't tell you what I listen to sometimes.